We all long for true affection. Touch-based approaches can foster connection and deeply nourish body and soul.
Talking is a nice thing, yet when you feel pain or grief, are anxious, exhausted or lonely, it doesn’t always help. We want to feel safely connected on a much deeper level. Sometimes a kind, silent touch heals places that words would never reach.
This is an essential and cherished part of my work: Connecting beyond words — with what can’t be said; gently and with compassion; creating space for the tender feelings – so they can stay silent for as long as they need to, yet with a kind companion at their side. A client once described her experience of this kind of touch as “nectar for my body, and nectar for my soul – pure nourishment“. Others feel as if “bathed in warm water and energy“ Oftentimes inner blocked places open up and start to flow again, or a state of lightness calmly expands inside us as we reconnect to our deeper Selves.
Anxious or avoidant attachment
There is a growing body of research examining the different healing factors involved in touch and touch-based therapeutic approaches.
The “Deep Touch — Connecting beyond words” approach, which I apply in my work, is one of them. Also Brennan Healing Science, another modality I like to use to balance bio-fields, involves touch. Without ever being touched, babies cannot grow up healthily. Throughout the millennia, humanity has been using touch for healing. Yet ultimately the question is: What touches us inside? I believe that there needs to be something ‘in‘ the touch: love, attunement, the invisible aspects of ourselves. When we suffer from anxious or avoidant attachment, we long for this feeling of safe connection to and from our inner self. The Eastern traditions in particular, developed complex systems to describe our human body not only as a material object, but also as a feeling organism with a spiritual dimension. Western Somatic Psychology developed a variety of approaches to include the felt sense, our embodied experience of ourselves, into therapeutic processes.
Meeting as who we are
Everyday life in our modern society often seems mechanical and we are reduced to performing and functioning. Yet in our own cells and souls we know of our natural longing for experiences which really touch us inside. Real moments of meeting feel nourishing, oftentimes they create space for old pain to heal.
Touch is also a gift for the one who is giving it. We need to be deeply connected to ourselves to meet the other person at this depth of connection. Yet when this joy of connection is accessed, we can really get a glimpse of paradise – and this can be simply between friends or, if you would like to explore this subject more deeply, in a therapeutic healing session.
I’d be happy to offer you these moments of meeting for the tender places in you which long for holding, care, support and integration.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
- What came up in you when reading this text?
- If you think of a kind, tender touch on the back of your hand, maybe from a cat or other pet, or of a warm hug from a friend: How does this affect you? Does your mood change, maybe your breathing?
- What is it like for you to touch a being you love or like?
- Sense into your body: What kind of touch are you longing for? What would be healing for you? Can you give this to yourself?
- Would you like to explore this together? ">Send me a note.
Nina Koren is a trainer,
counsellor and author
in the field of transformation.
She provides in-depth
guidance for individuals,
teams and leaders.
© Nina Koren 2019
Nectar for your body, nectar for your soul